


Why Do You Always Smile Like You're About To Cry?

by bearinapotatosack



Series: Star Trek [18]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bad Days, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Hurt Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Hurt/Comfort, James T. Kirk & Nyota Uhura Friendship, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sad Leonard "Bones" McCoy, The Real Housewives of Starfleet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:34:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28530792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearinapotatosack/pseuds/bearinapotatosack
Summary: Leonard McCoy has a bad day and Jim's there to help him~~Based off a prompt by @writeworld-blog on Tumblr
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy
Series: Star Trek [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1843510
Comments: 12
Kudos: 47
Collections: Bones McCoy H/C





	Why Do You Always Smile Like You're About To Cry?

"You always smile like you're about to cry," 

Jim had said that late one night back in the Academy when they'd drank too much whiskey and sitting on chairs was too much. His face was floating by as he sat, again, on the floor- this time in his shower. 

Tears stung in his eyes, red from crying. His hands were cold and numb. Pins and needles climbed up his legs as they were hunched against his chest. The deep breaths weren’t working. With each one he could feel his head getting lighter and lighter, 

He knew they'd been calling him, they were probably knocking on his door. But deep down he didn't care. He’d been putting on a mask all day and after finally being able to collapse into the arms of everything pulling him down, his stomach flipped at the thought of facing them. It was safer to stay away. 

Did that make him selfish? Probably. Just another quality to add to the list of reasons why he was an awful person. 

Other qualities on the list were how he shouted at innocent staff members, how he excused every hurtful thing he did with his grumpy personality. There was a reason people didn't show up to their appointments- he scared everyone away.

Part of him tried to cry out that none of this was true but it drowned in the viscous gloop of all the negative voices. The gloop weighed him down all day, hanging off his shoulders, trying to pull him to the floor to keep him there.

He'd managed to function all day, completed check-ups, discharged staff, performed surgeries and dealt with the numerous injuries and accidents collected by the engineering crew. Somewhere deep down he was proud of himself for getting through the day. Humorously, it sounded like Jim.

On the topic of Jim, he hadn't caught on about his mood yet, something he didn’t know was good or bad. He had a sixth sense when it came to Bones’ moods, most likely because no one cared for him as a child. If he made too many comments then they’d have his favourite food for dinner. If his lecture had gone on for too long after Jim got hurt then he knew to cuddle him longer that night. Jim made sure to use his brilliant memory for not only memorising all his crew but for all the self-care routines of everyone he loved.

“Hey, Bones, you’re twenty minutes late,” Jim said, his presence almost supernatural. “You know what today is, right? You're missing the new episode of the Real Housewives of Starfleet!”

‘ _Leave me alone, leave me alone. I don’t have the energy to hide this_ ,’ He rocked faster, digging his fingernails onto the flesh of his leg. 

“Bones? Are you in here?” Jim entered the room and came closer to the bathroom door, continuing to call until he appeared in the doorway.

His face froze. Eyes cracked with love as he fell to his knees and shuffled to the entrance of the shower cubicle, next to the sink and inset into the blue-tiled walls. 

"Can I touch you?" 

Bones nodded and Jim squeezed in next to him. His hands reached around his tensed torso, pushing his head onto his shoulder and rocking him as he hushed his sobs.

"So this is where you've been," He said. "Why didn't you tell me today? You know the main thing I care about is the wellbeing of my crew, even more with you,"

Bones shrugged and nestled closer into Jim's heated body. "Didn't want to bother you while you were working,"

"But I'm not working now, and our friends aren't either,"

"Didn't want to bother you, I've dealt with this alone before,"

Jim tutted, "Doesn't mean you have to be alone with this now,"

He pressed him back down and continued to rock them, back and forth, back and forth. Leonard's breathing went level. His tears dried in streaks down his face. 

_"Jim, where are you? Did you find Leonard or not?_ " Uhura's voice sang through the communicator.

Jim felt Bones tense in his arms. The rocking starting again as he breathed shorter, sharper. He held him harder, not letting Leonard lose himself just as he was coming back.

"I'll tell them to call it off, we don't have to go," He said and buried his nose in the musky, warm scent of his hair. "All we're doing tonight is cuddling, eating your favourite food and watching that soap opera about Vulcans that you refuse to admit to Spock that you love,"

Leonard chuckled and sat up. Jim said to Nyota, "Let's reschedule to tomorrow, Bones isn't doing too good,"

A crackle, " _Okay, give him my love,_ "

He was wobbly on his feet as he stood, his grip white and clammy on Jim's hand. He collapsed onto the bed and followed him around the room as he busied himself with starting the replicator and setting up the holo program on Leonard's favourite show.

Jim returned to him soon, the same grin on his face as he cuddled closer and closer to him. The blanket wafted in the air before they sighed and let themselves melt into the cosy warmth and headaches that always followed tears.

"Thanks, Jim,"

He chuckled, "No need to thank me, I love you, you big grizzly bear,"

"I love you too,"

**Author's Note:**

> So, I really really love Bones being hurt. Can you tell? I'm hoping to get more oneshot stuff like this done in 2021 because of a new writing routine I've got planned.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this, leave a kudos and a comment if you did!


End file.
